This was the beginning of the conversation with a client yesterday about her unusual predicament in finding a Soulmate. As a coach and adviser in this arena. I found this client and her plight a bit unusual. She had done much work to clear her negative mindsets attitudes and beliefs. She was a marvelous manifestor. She spoke of how she is very effective at attracting beautiful men. And yet she was still unable to find a man with all thehow do i find my soulmate attributes she was very clear on.
I listened to her speak for about 30 minutes. And then validated all that i had heard to be sure i was hearing what she had to say correctly. On the surface it appeared that this beautiful soul had done all she could to have a wonderful man in her life. She was open, honest, she was giving and loving. She was kind and sincere. WHO would not want that right???
She was everything that she wanted in a man. And naturally she had the expectation that this was going to be sufficient to attract the right man to her. Herein lies the big kicker. We give massages to others sore shoulders because we subconsciously want our shoulders rubbed. We listen to others because we want to be listened to. We pick up and elevate others because we want others to recognize us and do the same for us. It is subtle but on many levels we all do this.
I am not a Guru on the human condition; however I am a good observer of the reasons behind our actions. So the question becomes, what advice as a Soulmate Coach and Healer do I offer this beautiful soul who is patiently and sometimes crazily waiting for Romeo to arrive? I knew it was karma. I knew that in her past lives she had manipulated others for her own sexual satisfactions. I knew that she had made promises she knew she couldn’t keep and that many hearts were broken. I knew this because I have permission to access the Akashic Records. I asked and was shown and told of the origins of her relationship restrictions. This woman was aware of many lives and so upon sharing this she understood. She was able to comprehend how her actions from previous times could impact her. She understood that it was coming back in this life to remind her of the suffering and broken hearts she had caused others.
Understanding is only part of the picture. Changing the real world condition is the other part. I am trained to guide my clients through forgiveness practices to offset karmic debts. I have knowledge and wisdom that can assist my clients to identify the other factors that inhibit their soulmate from arriving. But in this woman’s case, her blockages was not as obvious as most of my clients.
Of course we spoke of karma and I advised her of the daily necessity to Soul conference and offer and ask for forgiveness with the four powers But in her case the shift needed to also occur on how she gave of herself too much. I advised her that she must recognize that she is giving what she wants in return and in that giving she is expecting the same in return. In expecting the same in return she is setting up a relationship breakup. Think about it. Expectations (subtle as they are at times) create pain when they are not met. The ideal scenario in a relationship is when we give without conditions or expectations, and most importantly our spouse does as well.
This mutual giving and balanced receiving is what harmonizes a healthy relationship. Too many of the beautiful deserving people on this planet give themselves over to the other and the other does not reciprocate. WHY? because they don’t have to nor is it truly beneficial to the health of the relationship. When both give as they desire without an intention of receiving that which they are giving, then and only then are the right conditions in place for a long term and healthy communication and love. Love is not about giving of all aspects of your heart and soul to another! Love is about self love and self value. Love is about being the Whole upon oneself, instead of looking outside for validation and fulfillment. This great mistake that almost all souls make is the fulfilling of love from the outside. When we re-prioritize and choose self love, self forgiveness, self value, then we are positioning ourselves to be the soulmate we wish to attract.
I hope this wisdom serves you on your SoulMate journey.